Organization XIII Does WalMart
by jaderaid
Summary: .:DISCONTINUED:.
1. The True Story of WalMart, as Told by 13

_Organization XIII Does Wal-Mart_

_by Jade Rhade_

**Disclaimer: I don't own _Kingdom Hearts_. Pathetically, I don't even own a copy of the game. I don't own Wal-Mart (if I did, I'd be a hell of a lot richer than I am now!); in fact, I have nothing against Wal-Mart or their employees, believe it or not. I don't own any of the doubtless copyrighted items I will be featuring in this fanfiction. I do, however, have the Twilight Town theme playing right now. That's right- be jealous. :P**

**A/N: Something completely random I thought of in Western Civilizations class. Reviews would make me happy. Please? And yes, I do love the Demyx-man, but for the purposes of this fanfiction, he is being made fun of rather relentlessly. And I based Zexion's character off Hiei from _Yu Yu Hakusho_, because, as stated in the disclaimer, I don't even own a copy of _Kingdom Hearts_, let alone _Chain of Memories_. Right, I'm babbling, so I shall shut the hell up now.**

"This had better be important," Marluxia grumbled as he fell through a portal of darkness into his customary tall, white chair.

"I assure you that it is," Xemnas responded. As soon as he looked away, Marluxia began to mock him by swaying back and forth making fairly impressive hand gestures.

"Are we all here?" the Superior asked as Axel finally teleported in.

"If you've somehow forgotten how to _count_, perhaps the fact that _all the seats are filled_ would give you a good indication that we are all, in fact, here," Marluxia muttered under his breath. He still wasn't happy about this impromptu meeting; he had been engaged in a very important task. Constant and consistent washing was essential for pink hair.

"Before I explain the assignments, I am required," Xemnas opened a small planner covered with various pictures of lightsabers, "to ask whether anyone has anything of importance to discuss." He looked up.

Demyx's hand shot up before Marluxia's own, far more languid, movement.

"Yes, Number Nine?" There was a long-suffering tone in Xemnas's voice.

"Um, I was wondering if we could change the paint scheme in here," the Melodious Nocturne voiced tentatively. "All this white makes me feel like we're in a crazy-people home."

_We are,_ Marluxia thought.

"Does anyone have anything _of importance_ to discuss?" Superior repeated, placing more emphasis on the phrase 'of importance'.

"When will Castle Oblivion be completed?" Larxene interjected without raising her hand. She glanced at Marluxia with a smirk, knowing that's what he was going to say.

"Very soon," Xemnas replied.

The pink-haired scythe-wielder smiled. "How I've waited to hear that."

Saïx winced and put his hand to his head. "I just experienced the strangest feeling of déjà vu," he murmured.

"Now, I'm not prepared to go on with this unless these interruptions cease." Xemnas was growing irritated.

There was silence.

"We have to go to Wal-Mart."

More silence.

Roxas toppled off his seat and hit the floor with a thud.

"That's a long way to fall," Xigbar noted, leaning over and peering down at the floor far below.

He raised his hand. "I'm good! Can I stay home? I don't want to go to Wal-Mart today, Mommy!"

"Roxas, you don't _have_ a 'mommy'," Saïx said bluntly.

"Please can I stay home? _Please?_" Roxas's voice cracked rather unbecomingly for a fourteen-going-on-fifteen year old teen. "I don't want to go! Don't we usually go to Target, anyway?"

Xemnas's face clouded. "Those arrogant French communist Nazi bastards!" he roared, slamming his palms down on the arms of his chair. "They refused to let the Salvation Army stand outside their doors, those dirty frog bastards!" His golden eyes gleamed with fury.

"And we _care_ because?" Xigbar raised an eyebrow.

"More importantly, is there even such a thing as a communist Nazi?" Vexen wondered aloud, stroking his chin.

"...What's a Nazi?" Demyx asked innocently.

"We care, Freeshooter, because usually either the Whirlwind Lancer or the Silent Hero dresses up and manages to secure quite a lot of munny from the unsuspecting humans," Xemnas said haughtily, regaining control after his sudden outburst.

They all paused and looked to Xaldin and Lexaeus. "Do they, now?" Larxene grinned, eyes sparkling malevolently. The two objects of her attention gulped and pressed back into their seats.

"What is wrong with Wal-Mart?" Zexion asked curiously, getting back on the question of why Roxas seemed to terrified of this Wal-Mart.

"The people... the people... the _smiley faces!!_" the youngest member of Organization XIII was literally foaming at the mouth as he writhed around on the floor.

"Smiley faces?" the Cloaked Schemer put his hood up, crossed his arms, and shrank back into his seat. "I hate smiley faces."

Roxas regained a measure of control and shakily stood. "Do you want to hear the tale of the creature that is... Wal-Mart?"

They leaned in closer.

"Do you really want to know?"

Hesitant nods. Even Marluxia was intrigued by what the Key of Destiny knew of this strange beast.

He put his hood up. "In the land of Wal-Mart," he started, ominously lowering his voice. "It is a world of blue. Blue signs, blue uniforms... all the employees look the same. Same unnaturally cheerful face, same way of saying 'may I help you?'," he looked down and paused. "When you become a Wal-Mart employee, you are going down a dark path, never to re-emerge into the land of the non-existent."

Roxas folded his arms and put his hands into the opposite sleeves. "They take you into the Back Room. The one labeled 'Employees Only'. Have you ever wondered what goes on in there that it's marked 'Employees Only'? What strange sights go on in that Back Room away from normal eyes?"

The Key of Destiny looked up sharply, the light throwing what little of his face could be seen through the hood into deep shadow, so all that could be seen was one bright eye. The members of the Organization involuntarily gasped and leaned back, then leaned forward to hear what he had to say- what horrible stories go on in the Back Room.

"They open a box of heavy-duty, white plastic sporks..." Roxas moved closer. "...and surgically remove your soul through your nose. They brainwash you until all you are is an empty shell; incapable of knowing what time of day it is, so you compromise by saying 'good morning' all day long. And you better hope you can speak fluent Mexican. You are unable to think for yourself, and you will work at Wal-Mart... for the rest of your non-existent life."

The overhead light flickered and went out; someone screamed in a very high-pitched, girly voice.

When the lights came back on, Marluxia looked at Demyx- obviously the source of the shriek. He was clutching his knees and rocking back and forth.

"Roxas, I'm going to have to ask you to stop," Xemnas said, opening his eyes and taking his hands away from his ears. "You are frightening the Melodious Nocturne."

Roxas pulled down his hood and stepped through a portal of darkness. He reappeared back in his seat, but couldn't resist having the final word. "Hey, Demyx, do you know what they do when they're finished restructuring your soul?"

Demyx shook his head, looking at the Key of Destiny wide-eyed.

"They put them back in the box and put it on the sale rack... for ninety-nine cents."

The Melodious Nocturne screamed in terror, and everyone reflexively jammed his fingers into his ears. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut and covered his ears. "There's no such thing as soul-eating sporks, there's no such thing as soul-eating sporks," he repeated over and over, rocking back and forth.

"Roxas, that will be enough," Superior ordered.

The Key of Destiny air-fived Axel, then sat back and crossed his arms with a self-satisfied smirk.

"We don't _really_ have to go to Wal-Mart, do we?" Marluxia looked pleadingly at the Superior. Not that he was scared. He just wanted to show proper discretion by knowing when to retreat, that's all.

"I'm afraid we do." Xemnas looked around the room. "Any further outbursts?" He ignored a shaking Demyx. "No? Good." He closed his _Star Wars_ planner with a snap. "We leave in a hour. Please don't wear your raincoats."

-xXx-

"Do you all have your lists?"

They all nodded, looking down at the pieces of Darth Vader notebook paper Xemnas had handed out for them to write down the items they needed. The thirteen Nobodies stood outside in the sea commonly known as the Wal-Mart parking lot.

"We're going to split into teams and enter through separate doors so as not to attract attention." As Xemnas said this, Roxas couldn't hold back a smirk. Their esteemed leader was garbed all in white, with silvery sequins spelling out 'Superior' across the back of his shirt. "There will be three groups of four."

"I call Axel and Roxas!" Zexion announced abruptly.

Vexen turned, betrayed. "Why?"

"Because they are dressed the most normally." The Cloaked Schemer raised the one eyebrow that wasn't covered by his hair.

It was, sadly, quite true. The ridiculousness of the outfits the Nobodies had chosen in lieu of their raincoats didn't stop with Xemnas's Elvis-suit. Xigbar was wearing a pair of orange swim trunks with a long-sleeved shirt bearing the words 'born to surf' across the front. Xaldin was wearing a shirt that looked like he had stolen it from the Disney Store; it had 'Beauty and the Beast' across it in curly letters with a picture of the rose-in-a-jar. Vexen was wearing a blue lab coat, fuzzy bedroom slippers... and _nothing else_.

Lexaeus appeared normal at first glance... that is, until one looked at the name across the back of his football jersey and saw '#1 Puzzle Master'. Saïx had opted for a strict business suit- appropriate for Wall Street, but definitely not for Wal-Mart. His ice-blue tie matched his hair. Demyx was wearing an 'I (heart) my sitar' tee shirt. He was quite proud of it- it had once said 'mommy', but he had taken a black Sharpie and crossed it out, scrawling 'sitar' above it.

Luxord was also rather normally dressed in a pair of khaki pants and a sweater- if one ignored the fact that the sweater was garish orange-and-purple stripes. Marluxia had picked out a tropical flower print and plaid pants. The Hawaiian shirt clashed horribly with his pink hair. Larxene had chosen a pale yellow sundress and stiletto heels. The hem of the dress was caked with brownish-red stains that looked suspiciously like dried blood.

Roxas had found his outfit in Twilight Town, complete with matching checkered wristband and two rings- one black, one white. Axel was wearing a pair of jeans, a plain white tee shirt, and a black leather bomber jacket. Zexion had a black My Chemical Romance shirt with a dark pair of jeans covered in patches; two of were the Green Day heart/hand grenade and a Japanese flag with bold print saying 'Watch More Anime'.

"I want to go with Larxene. She's protect me from the sporks." Demyx edged closer to her and smiled hopefully.

"As if," she sniffed. "I'm going with Marluxia, Vexen, and Lexaeus."

"We are?" Marluxia looked to her.

"We are," she confirmed.

"Okay."

Axel laughed. "Man, she has got you totally whipped," he told Marluxia.

"Demyx, why don't you go with Axel?" Larxene smiled wickedly at the redhead. "Since he and Roxas know so much about these evil... _spoon-forks_... he'll protect you far better than I can."

"Okay!" Demyx, taking anything Larxene said as absolute law, bounced over to Roxas's group.

A sudden gust of brisk winter wind tore through the parking lot, ripping the lists out of their respective members' hands.

"I got them!" Roxas yelled, dashing after the errant scraps of paper.

"So that means I'm stuck with you... four?" Xaldin stopped and counted on his fingers. "Me, Xigbar, Saïx, Luxord... and you, Superior. That makes five in a group. We aren't supposed to have five."

"I'm going to brave Wal-Mart by myself," Xemnas announced.

Everyone gasped. "You... you don't have to do that, Superior," Saïx said, sounding almost concerned.

Roxas slammed face-first into a telephone pole in pursuit of a piece of paper, completely oblivious to Xemnas's statement.

"Yes. This is something I must do alone." Their leader raised their hand in farewell, backing into a portal of darkness and disappearing.

"Let us observe a moment of silence to pray for the protection of the Superior's soul," Xigbar said.

They all inclined their heads except for Roxas, who was still chasing Darth Vader across the parking lot and cursing far more colorfully and fluently than a Nobody his age should have the right to be.

The moment of silence lasted for all of five seconds. "So, can I be in charge now?" Marluxia asked.

-xXx-

Xemnas laughed from the top of a telephone pole as Roxas finally collected all twelve lists and distributed them to the remaining Nobodies. They split into their groups and headed across the parking lot toward each of the three separate 'in' doors. Here they all were, thinking he had bravely sacrificed himself by going into the jaws of the beast alone, when really he was heading back to the Castle That Never Was to watch _Star Wars_. He figured he had time to watch the whole series at least once before the others got back. Then maybe he'd watch some _Monty Python_.

His musings were disrupted when a toddler in a stroller suddenly caught a glimpse of him and squealed, pointing. The Superior quickly retreated into a portal of darkness. Wal-Mart may not scare him, but small human children did.

**A/N: I hope that this was enjoyed, and will be updated as soon as I get the chance! (And the inspiration...) By the way, in case it was no clear, I played dress-up with Roxas and put him in his sexy Twilight Town clothes. :D By the way, if anyone has any ideas for them to play havoc in Wal-Mart, don't hesitant to suggest! Everyone will be given their due credit!**

**Please review? Vexen has scientifically proven that 4 out of 5 fanfiction authors update faster when prompted by reviews. He has also proven that every time someone reads _without_ reviewing, Larxene replaces Marluxia's special shampoo with engine grease. Save Marly's hair, review!**


	2. The Evil Inherent, as told by 6

**A/N: Sorry for taking so long, I got caught up with a new project, "Darkness Rising". My serious stories tend to take more precedence over my humor fics, so O-XIIIdW-M got shoved on the back burner. Everyone has my sincerest apologies! Just for some recap, let's go over who's in whose group.**

_**In Wal-Mart...**_

**Group One: Roxas, Axel, Demyx, and Zexion.**

**Group Two: Larxene, Marluxia, Vexen, and Lexaeus.**

**Group Three: Saïx, Xigbar, Xaldin, and Luxord.**

_**In the World That Never Was...**_

**_Star Wars_ Group: Xemnas... _just_ Xemnas.**

**Now some acknowledgements (in no particular order), and then onto the chapter!**

**Thanks for: _reviewing:_ **_WinterDancer, NocturnalWriter, Kairi and Cloud, i AM the Random Idiot, Sahxyel, Suko-chan, Zexion__**favorite-ing:** Jenaisis-Sama, Kairi and Cloud, Suko-chan_**/_alerting:_**_ Kairi and Cloud, Neassa, Suko-chan, Taora, WinterDancer_ **If I spelled your name wrong, I apologize; I'm tired.**

**Disclaimer:** _The only thing I own in this chapter would be the word 'bathroomically'._

"Um... Roxas?" Demyx had to jog to catch up with his group. "I have to go potty."

"We aren't even in the store yet." Roxas walked without fear through the parking lot. He had been unofficially voted the team leader, since he and Axel seemed to have the most experience with this strange demon-store that the unaware referred to as _Wal-Mart._

"But I have to go!"

"You should have gone before we left."

Demyx sulked. "I didn't have to go then."

Roxas stopped and glared at the bathroomically-challenged Nobody. "You can go... _potty_," he practically spit the word out, "...in the store, okay?"

Sure that he could feel his eyebrows burning, he shrank away from that intense glare, having no desire to look like Axel. "Okay," Demyx said meekly.

"Good." He, Axel, and Demyx caught up with Zexion outside the sliding glass door. "And what's your problem?" Roxas checked an exasperated sigh.

The Cloaked Schemer was frozen stock-still. "The doors are evil..." he whispered, a look of pure unadulterated terror on his face. "They have a mind of their own..."

"They have motion-sensors," the Key of Destiny tried to explain.

Zexion flinched violently as someone walked through the door, giving the Nobody a strange glance as she did so. "I can smell the evil radiating off of them..."

"Nah," Axel answered, coming to his side. "That's just the whole store that you're smelling."

"Are there not normal doors through which we can pass?"

"I'd expect this from Demyx, but not from you," Roxas sighed.

Demyx smiled proudly then realized that he'd just been insulted. "Hey!"

"Do not compare me to him," he warned, crossing his arms. "I want to go through a normal door."

"These _are_ normal on this world." Roxas looked helplessly to Axel, only to see the Flurry of Dancing Flames overcome with silent hysterics. "Look Zexion," he pointed patiently to the little black box above the doors. "It's called a motion sensor. You walk toward it, and the door opens."

"No." Zexion sniffed and turned away. "I refuse."

"What?"

"I have no desire to be chopped in half."

"Huh? You lost me there." Roxas scratched his blond-spiked covered head.

"The doors shall close on me and cut me in two. I refuse, and you can't make me." The Cloaked Schemer stuck his tongue out with a "Nyah!".

"That was mature," Demyx noted ironically, glad that he wasn't the one in trouble for once. Axel lost control and collapsed to the ground laughing, tears streaming from his eyes. While on the cement, he was almost run over by a stroller.

"Shut up, imbecile," Zexion retorted, glaring at Demyx with his one visible eye.

"Don't call me stupid." His eyes narrowed and water began collecting over his head- the prelude to a water attack. The Cloaked Schemer just smirked and beckoned.

"Guys, guys!" Roxas jumped between them, arms raised. "You all just need to calm down. The Superior will be extremely displeased if he learns that we massacred the entire population of this world because Zexion called you an imbecile, Demyx."

"Fine." The Melodious Nocturne all but pouted as he released his water attack. "But I'm not stupid."

"No, you are an imbecile."

"That's the same thing!"

"Do you two want me to go Keyblade on your ass?" Roxas glared at one, then the other.

They both frowned. "No," they said reluctantly.

Axel finally composed himself and stood. "Watch this, Zexy." He walked through the doors, stopping just on the other side of the moving glass and giving him an ingratiating smirk.

"Hn." Zexion crossed his arms, unconvinced, deciding to let the 'Zexy' referrance go with the greater evil staring him straight in the face in the form of the demon-doors.

"I'll hold your hand," Demyx suggested.

"No!" Roxas looked panicked. "No hand-holding! This is embarrassing enough as it is," he added under his breath. He physically tried to dodge the stares of the so-called 'normal' people making their way in through the door.

"Right, you guys have fun with this," Axel called, walking away with his hands in his pockets. "I'm going to go bother the extortionists!"

"The who?" Roxas turned, confused, to see the Flurry of Dancing Flames point toward a young woman ringing a bell with a tin bucket for the Salvation Army. "Axel, don't leave me here!" he cried.

The redhead walked back through the 'in' door and patted Roxas on the head. "You'll be fine."

"Please don't leave me here with them! I'll start begging!" The Key of Destiny dropped down on his knees and grabbed at the hem of Axel's jacket. "Beg, beg, beg," he chanted, blue eyes wide with desperation.

"Alright, enough, enough!" Axel pried the younger Nobody's hands off, disgusted. "Zexion, you're going to force us to use the buddy system."

"The what?" The Cloaked Schemer frowned.

"I'm going to pair you up with Demyx so you don't get hurt or lost, if you _don't go through that door!"_

Zexion paused. "Will we have to hold hands?"

Axel nodded. "Mm-hm."

"Very well, then, I shall go through these demon-doors, _unassisted_."

"Don't worry," Roxas grinned brightly. "If you _do_ get chopped in half, we can always sue for munny!"

"That's a good idea," Axel agreed.

"That is not funny." Zexion put his hands in his pockets, closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and ran full-speed ahead.

The doors didn't open fast enough. The Cloaked Schemer slammed into them and stumbled back with his hands clutching his nose and his eyes crossed.

"I don't think you're supposed to run," Demyx stated, pointing out the obvious.

Zexion tripped and fell off the curb, landing flat on his back with a thud.

"This is just pathetic," Roxas sighed as Zexion staggered to his feet.

"I told you!" he ranted, rubbing his nose. "I told you about the evil emanating from those doors!"

"The doors are not evil. They're inanimate objects."

"Um, Roxas?" Demyx raised his hand.

"Yes?" he growled, patience wearing thin.

"Well, Keyblades are inanimate objects too, right?"

"Yeah...?"

"So if there can be no evil in an inanimate object, then there can be no other forces within it, right?"

"I guess..."

"So then why does everyone make such a big deal about being 'chosen by the Keyblade'?" Demyx used air quotes. "Isn't that just like saying that some oversized key fell out of the sky and hit you on the head?"

"The Keyblade is not 'just some key'!" he looked extremely offended.

"But you said-"

"Silence!" Roxas literally growled warningly at the other Nobody. He reached down and grabbed Zexion roughly by the arm. "Let's go." He muscled the Cloaked Schemer through the doors, which almost seemed to open faster in fear of the incensed Keyblade wielder.

Axel shook his hand in mock sadness. "You insulted the Keyblade," he said mournfully to Demyx. "You _never_ insult his Keyblade."

-xXx-

At another one of the many doors, Larxene's group was having a similar problem.

"Marluxia," the only female member of the Organization growled. "You're embarrassing us all; why can't you get this damn door open?"

Marluxia shrugged defensively, but not about to go up against the Savage Nymph, walked forward yet again and slammed into the unyielding glass... yet again.

Larxene tapped her foot impatiently against the sidewalk. "Marluxia..." she warned. She sent a sharp electrical shock through him.

He yelped and walked into the doors again. This pattern continued for about a minute until and elderly lady with her grandson walked out the same door, seeming to be oblivious of the crazily-dressed, pink-haired flower-lover battering himself silly against the glass.

Lexaeus caught on first. "Guys," the Silent Hero said, stepping back and looking up at the sign above the door, marked clearly in several languages. "This is an exit."

-xXx-

Meanwhile, Saïx's group had fared slightly better; they had all made it through the door with little incident. It was once inside the behemoth that they began experiencing some problems.

"Right, let's stick together and get what we need so we can get out of here," Xigbar started. He was interrupted from continuing when a little girl clutching at her mother's hand suddenly screamed and pointed... at him.

It was quite understandable that the young girl be terrified of the Freeshooter; with his scar and eye patch, he was rather intimidating to behold. The little girl buried her face in her mother's skirts as Xigbar cowered behind Xaldin.

"Look what you've done, Xigbar!" Luxord scolded.

The Freeshooter clapped his hands over his ears with a look of purest agony across his face. "Make it stop screaming!" he begged pathetically.

The Gambler of Fate sighed and turned to the child. "Now we'll never get out of here," he muttered. Her mother was glaring at him reproachfully as if Xigbar's fearsome appearance was somehow his fault. "Hello, little girl. What's your name?"

"I told her not to talk to strangers," her mother said haughtily.

"Well, my name is Luxord. Now we aren't strangers anymore." He offered his most disarming smile and knelt down.

The girl sniffed and wiped her nose on her sleeve. "I'm Keiko."

"Hi, Keiko. I'm sorry my friend looks scared you, but I promise that he's nicer than he looks." He looked so genuinely regretful that the child stared shamefully down at the ground. "Do you like card tricks?"

His accent and inherent charm had seemingly mesmerized her mother, so Keiko nodded hopefully. "Uh-huh."

"Watch this." Luxord pulled a deck of black and white cards out of thin air

"Oooh..."

"Pick a card." He offered her the deck.

"Let's go," Saïx said to the others. He, Xigbar, and Xaldin surreptitiously snuck away.

"Wow!" Keiko clapped her hands delightedly. "Do another one!"

"Sorry, Keiko, I have to go shopping with my... _friends_... now." Luxord smiled in the hopes of keeping her quiet and look over his shoulder; he froze. "Guys?"

There was no one there. They had cruelly abandoned him at the mercy of small children.

He stood up, an expression of what could almost have been described as fear flashing across him face. "Guys? Don't leave me here!"

"He does cool tricks!" Keiko was shouting toward anyone who could hear.

"No... oh, no..." Luxord blinked and backed away as a swarm of unattended children began to converge on him. He tried to raise a card wall to protect himself, but it was too late. "No!" he cried, and then he was smothered.

-xXx-

"Roxas, I have to go pee now." They were just passing the carts on the way in.

"_Then-go-PEE!_" Roxas yelled, still angry about the prior comment about his Keyblades.

Several people turned and stared; Axel brought his hand to his head in the universal symbol for "he's crazy".

Demyx dashed off for the bathroom, knocking over a display of bouncy balls as he did so.

"Can we not just leave him here?" Zexion requested.

Axel grinned, emerald eyes sparkling mischievously, but Roxas shook his head. "No. We can't do that."

The Flurry of Dancing Flame's shoulders slumped disappointedly. "Roxas..." he whined.

"No. Superior will blame me if Demyx floods the entire store in a panic."

"Oh. Right." Axel looked toward the restroom. "Uh-oh."

Roxas followed his line of sight just in time to see Demyx duck a thrown roll of toilet paper from the women's bathroom. "Sorry!" the water user shouted, tripping over his own feet and several bouncy balls as he attempted to retreat.

Learning from his mistake, Demyx turned to the men's room and pulled at the handle.

It didn't open.

Not to be discouraged, he pulled harder. The door still refused to budge, even as the Melodious Nocturne applied all of his strength. Demyx pouted and kicked at the door, earning nothing but an outcry of pain as he clutched at his foot.

He jumped on one foot, rubbing his toe. "Ow, ow, ow!"

As if in slow motion, Roxas watched the water user land on one of the bouncy balls. "Oh no..." he managed to get out, and Demyx thudded to the floor with a shriek. "Please tell me he's not going to throw a tantrum."

"I'll get us a cart," Axel offered, anxious to get away.

"Yeah, I'll... help," Zexion agreed. They both edged away cautiously.

Roxas groaned, seeing Demyx start to cry and pound his fists against the floor. "Demyx!" he called. "It's marked '_push_'!"

-xXx-

Xemnas sat back on his zebra-striped couch, put his zebra-slippered feet up on his zebra-striped footstool on top of his zebra-striped rug, wearing his zebra-striped bathrobe, and munching on a bowl of white popcorn drizzled with chocolate. He grabbed his DVD remote and hit 'play', eyes wide and leaning forward in his seat as the first letters crossed the huge theater-sized screen.

"_A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away..."_

**A/N: Hopefully you all will forgive me for taking so long to update! If you have time, check out my new story called _"Darkness Rising"._**

**Every time you read without reviewing, Roxas forces Demyx and Zexion to use the buddy system. With Zexion's reputation on the line, review!**


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